Bullying and parental dictatorship make havoc in schools
Defined as a hostile behavior, of exclusion, of humiliation and mocking at someone, bullying is increasing in the Romanian schools and has many victims. In addition, it has expanded a lot in the online environment whereas the verbal aggression is obvious im the student groups. Unfortunately, many parents do not cooperate in order to solve this phenomenon.
The bullying issue is not an invention of the 21st century. It used to be called harassment. Regardless of the term that defines this phenomenon, it has always been in the society since a long time. We always see it in schools, among students, in the virtual space or in multinational companies.
The phenomenon does not refer to the existence of a conflict based on a real problem, but on the intention of some people to gain their power and authority by insulting and humiliating others. "The victim usually poses in vulnerable positions and has certain weaknesses that can be exploited, by showing the impossibility of defense and by feeling helpless; even the spectators are involved people, even if not directly, but they witness the action", say the specialists. Fortunately, this year, came into force Law no. 221/2019 that prevents and fights against bullying in the educational spaces. The document was approved by ministerial order, published in the Official Gazette on 10th June 2020 and entered into force upon its publication. Few people know that the law which was the basis of these regulations started from a lawsuit filed by a solicitor from Iași, Gianina Vera Poroșnicu. The case concerned a case of blackmail between two young girls related to the publication of pornographic materials. "It is a case has brought a long-needed legislative change and in line with what exists as a spirit in the education legislation everywhere in Europe and America. In 2019-2020 I was involved in the highly publicized file of the young girls who were blackmailed. It was a shocking case that produced a short circuit in the whole ideology of school pedagogy. Following the national media pressure, Law no. 1/2011, namely the National Education Law, has undergone major amendments by Law no. 221/2019 that entered into force on 22nd November 2019. It legally regulates, for the first time in Romania, the sociological phenomenon present in schools known as bullying ”, said Gianina Vera Poroșnicu.
The teachers' children, among the aggressors' victims
Bullying is considered a form of physical and psychological violence, an intentional conduct that aims to cause harm (injury, destruction or damage) to people (including to oneself), with various causes that lead to new forms of violence. Teachers' children are often victims, too whereas the discussion about the teacher's protected child is no longer a secret. "As a mother who knows the value of the child, it is not an easy subject. The child's wish to be involved in school or extracurricular activities cannot be overlooked. And yet, the tendency is to withdraw, because that is X's child and if he/she has good results, it means that his/her mother intervened", said Dana Anghelescu, a Romanian language teacher at "Grigore Moisil" High School of Informatics in Iași. It is a reality that teachers' children face. "I could give examples for each case, from my personal experience and, more recently, as a mother. No, I'm not a new mother, but I have recently realized that no matter how hard we try to protect our children, somehow we're still wrong. The story of my own son, a student in the high school where I taught, is not new, either. If one boy gets a low mark, his mother puts pressure on him, because, of course, the child does not have to make his parent look bad. If he has only good results, it is the group who put pressure on him: "Stop it, we know it! Your mother is a teacher, that's why you got ten". For four years, I didn't know what was going on in my child's class, I only asked my fellow teachers. I don't know if I went to his classroom 10 times in all those years. He didn't even want to hear about it. If he needed anything, he would look for me or I would call him to the teachers' room. The second floor was a forbidden territory to me. It was only after four years that I found out that he had been accused of being a spy or a spokesman, that he was morally guilty when someone made trouble and everybody found out. When the spirit of justice began to boil, he would rarely complain about a male colleague insulting a female colleague by comparing her to a whale or other large creatures. I have seen this kind of harassment many times in 20 years of teaching. The outcome? In the happiest case, 10-15 kg less and a low self-esteem", added Dana Anghelescu.
Harassment in the virtual space and parental dictatorship
Meanwhile, bullying has moved from the classroom to the virtual space, the online environment controls our existence. "We are all exposed: students, parents and teachers. From the phrase "Why don't you tell this teacher to dictate more slowly!" uttered imperatively by a mother in a kitchen dress who appears unexpectedly in the frame, to pictures of teachers, even if recordings and screenshots are not allowed, everything is real, not just possible. I think we need a healthy media education for both children and adults. And for education to withstand these gloomy times, parents should understand that they need to make a common battlefront with teachers," said Dana Anghelescu.
As a teacher, it is all the more frustrating to see your own child threatened by the bullying specter because you know that the system cannot always help you. "The main problem I identify here is the parents' dictatorship. Parents who actually run schools in many situations by making the principals refuse to take action or by greasing their palms. Making leaders be afraid. Making teachers bow their heads ", is the opinion of Horia Corcheș, a Romanian language teacher at "George Baritiu" College in Cluj. He had to transfer his own child from the school where he had studied in his youth because the head teacher could not cope with a group of parents who refused to see their children in their true character, which encouraged them to behave aggressively to others who were more introverted. "I transferred him because the principal didn't want to see that the same children were also naughty with the teachers, almost the same aggression as to other colleagues. I was outraged, I made a scandal and I wrote articles. It was in vain: I finally transferred him. For at least another year, my son continued to be threatened by various means by those aggressors. Together with him, I sadly said goodbye to a school that I had once loved and that doesn't tell me anything now, I only see its garbage", added Horia Corcheș.
The collected data clearly suggest that personality traits or typical reaction patterns, in combination with physical strength or weakness in boys, are important for the development of these issues. "Moreover, environmental factors such as the attitude, routine and behavior of important adults play a major role in determining the extent to which these issues will develop on a larger scale. Also, the attitude and behavior of important witnesses shown in the group processes and mechanisms are undoubtedly important in the resilient development of the student who faces the bullying phenomenon, through the solving model or through the offered support", said the solicitor from Iași.
An act of aggression with a major impact on a person's life and personality
The phenomenon is increasingly common among adolescents who felt it from different angles: as victims, aggressors or witnesses.
"From my clinical experience I can tell you that the phenomenon strongly affects a teenager: he retires, he isolates himself, he refuses to go to school, he becomes sadder or quieter and he can't sleep. As a result, school performance decreases and even suicide thoughts or attempts may occur. Adolescence is a stage with major changes in the brain. These structural changes make it difficult to manage emotions and relationships with the persons of their age or family. An alarm signal must be heard by parents and teachers about the bullying phenomenon. It's not a joke among children, it's not a way to train social skills. It's an act of aggression with a major impact on a person's life and personality", said the psychologist Simona Filip.
In order for the impact not to be for a long period, it is important for parents to pay attention to changes in the child's behavior and mood, and to try to communicate. Parents do not help their children by criticism, accusations or statements like: "Leave them alone, it's not a big deal, you're too sensitive".
"Of course, the perspective of the aggressor must also be discussed. The bully needs power and control, or cannot cope with the own emotions of anger or sadness. The aggressor, like the victim, is in emotional distress. They both need psychological and emotional support", said the psychologist.
Maura ANGHEL